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1、習(xí)作評(píng)析(12) 習(xí)作題目1 根據(jù)下列提示,寫(xiě)一篇100詞左右的日記。 今天是二○○二年三月十八日,星期天,天氣晴朗。由二十多名澳大利亞中學(xué)生組成的訪(fǎng)問(wèn)團(tuán)來(lái)你校參觀。你和同學(xué)們于八點(diǎn)二十分在校門(mén)口集合,列隊(duì)歡迎來(lái)訪(fǎng)的澳大利亞學(xué)生。八點(diǎn)半你帶客人到接待室并舉行聯(lián)歡會(huì)。十點(diǎn)鐘你帶領(lǐng)客人參觀圖書(shū)館、實(shí)驗(yàn)室和校辦工廠。十一點(diǎn)半和客人一起在學(xué)校食堂共進(jìn)午餐,并互贈(zèng)禮物,客人于下午一點(diǎn)半離開(kāi)學(xué)校?! W(xué)生原文 WednesdayMarch18th,2002Fine Thismorning,overtwe
2、ntyAustralianmiddleschoolstudentscametoourschoolforvisit.MyclassmatesandIgatheredattheschoolgateattwentypasteight,gavethemawarmwelcome.Athalfpasteight,Itookthemtothereceptionroomandwemadeaget-togetherthere.Atteno’clock,weledthemtovisitoutlibrary,ourlaba
3、ndtheschoolfactory.Athalfpasteleven,wehadlunchwiththeAustralianstudentsintheschooldining-hallbutthengavepresentstoeachother.Timepassedquickly,soonitwashalfpastoneintheafternoon.Wehadtosaygood-byetoeachother. NevershallIforgettheday–––March18th. 名師點(diǎn)評(píng)
4、本篇習(xí)作要點(diǎn)齊全,語(yǔ)言通順??忌苁炀氝\(yùn)用所學(xué)知識(shí),按時(shí)間順序較好地完成日記。但考生在連接詞的運(yùn)用上還需進(jìn)一步努力。 visit前加a. gave前加and,在兩個(gè)并列謂語(yǔ)之間應(yīng)用連接詞and. made改為held.舉行晚會(huì)、聚會(huì)、會(huì)議需用動(dòng)詞hold. but改為and,此處是一種并列關(guān)系,而非轉(zhuǎn)折關(guān)系。 soon前加and. 在日記的結(jié)尾考生巧妙地運(yùn)用了倒裝結(jié)構(gòu),使短文添彩?! 【贩段摹 ednesdayMarch18th,2002Fine Thismorning,overtw
5、entyAustralianmiddleschoolstudentscametoourschoolforavisit.MyclassmatesandIgatheredattheschoolgateat8:20andgavethemawarmwelcome.ThenItookthemtothereceptionroomandwehadaget-togetherthere.Atteno’clock,weshowedthemaroundourlibrary,ourlabandtheschoolfactory
6、.Athalfpasteleven,wehadlunchwiththeAustralianstudentsintheschooldining-hallandthengavepresentstoeachother.Timepassedquicklyandsoonitwashalfpastoneintheafternoon.Wehadtosaygood-byetoeachother. NevershallIforgettheday––––March18th.