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1、Heflatterstodeceive恭維是藝術(shù)還是欺騙?www.i21st.cnBYainuo1124from21stCenturyPublished2012-08-06導(dǎo)讀:人們對恭維的態(tài)度褒貶不一,有人認(rèn)為這是一門交際藝術(shù),有人則認(rèn)為它暴露了人虛偽的一面。殊不知,恭維也要講求方法,如果盲目諂媚只會(huì)落得個(gè)馬屁精(apple-polisher)的稱號。Howdoyoupersuadesomeonetodosomethingtheymightnotfeelsokeenabout?你怎么說服別人做一些他們可能興趣不大的事情?*Flattery
2、–theartofofferingpleasingcompliments–willoftenhelpyougetwhatyouwant.*恭維——一門贊美別人,討人歡心的藝術(shù),會(huì)讓你心想事成。LucyKellawayisawriterandcolumnistwiththeFinancialTimes.Oneday,shegotane-mailaskinghertogotoScotlandtogiveaspeechforacharity.作家露西?凱拉韋是《金融時(shí)報(bào)》的專欄作家。一天,她收到一封電子郵件,邀請她前往蘇格蘭為一家慈善機(jī)構(gòu)做演講。
3、Shewantedtodeclinetheinvitationbecausethereweregoodreasonstodoso:ScotlandisfarawayfromLondon;shehadneverheardofthecharityandbarelyknewthewomanwhowrotethemessage.Yetratherthansayno,thecolumnistfoundherselfsayingyesinstead.她覺得自己有充分的理由來婉拒這個(gè)邀請:蘇格蘭離倫敦太遠(yuǎn);她從來沒有聽說過這家慈善機(jī)構(gòu),也幾乎不認(rèn)識發(fā)郵件
4、的那位女士。但她并沒有拒絕,相反這位專欄作家竟然一口答應(yīng)了。Why?為什么?Becauseshewasflattered.Thee-mailbegan:“Wehaven’tmetyet,butIhopewewill.”Thewomanwentonto*professahugeadmirationforKellaway’scolumnsandclaimedthecharity’scommitteewouldbe“utterlyoverthemoon”ifsheturnedup.因?yàn)樗軐櫲趔@。這封郵件一開頭就寫道:“雖然我們未曾謀面,但我非常
5、希望能有機(jī)會(huì)與您見面?!苯酉聛?,這位女士滔滔不絕地表達(dá)了對凱拉韋的專欄的贊賞,并表示如果她能夠出席,那么慈善委員會(huì)絕對會(huì)“欣喜若狂”。Itwouldbehardforanyonetoturnthiswomandown.任何人都很難拒絕這位女士的邀請。WritingintheFinancialTimes,Kellawaysaysthateventhoughshedidn’tbelievethewomanwasreallyherfan,shewassoftenedupnevertheless.凱拉韋在《金融時(shí)報(bào)》上寫道,即便她不相信這位女士是她
6、的忠實(shí)讀者,但她還是被說服了。Itisoddbuttrue.AccordingtoarecentstudyfromHongKongUniversityofScienceandTechnology,flatteryworksevenwhenthe*recipientknowsitis*insincere.這聽上去很奇怪,但事實(shí)如此,香港科技大學(xué)的一項(xiàng)最新研究顯示,即便被奉承者清楚這是虛偽之舉,但它依然很奏效。TheHarvardBusinessReviewrecountsanexperimentresearchersdidtoprovethe
7、effectivenessofflattery.《哈佛商業(yè)評論》雜志詳述了研究人員是如何通過實(shí)驗(yàn)來證明恭維的有效性的。Agroupofstudentswereidentifiedaspotentialshoppers.Theyweregivena*flyerfromafictionalclothingshopwhichsaid:“Wearecontactingyoudirectlybecauseweknowthatyouareafashionableandstylishperson.Yourdresssenseisnotonly*class
8、y,butalso*chic…”一組學(xué)生被視為潛在消費(fèi)者。他們收到由一家虛構(gòu)的服裝店發(fā)來的傳單,上面寫著:“我們之所以直接與您聯(lián)系,是因?yàn)槲覀兩钪且晃磺靶l(wèi)的時(shí)尚達(dá)人。你的著裝