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1、9780738213163-text:5.5x8.2510/13/092:10PMPage91FirstComesLove,ThenComesALittleBitMarriedh?jWhytheLong-TermRelationshipHasBecometheNewRomanticRiteofPassageDatingisnotwhatitwas?ftyyearsago.Datingisevolvingintothisgradualprocessofmovingin.Itinvolvesnightsspentoveratoneortheother’splace.There’sthetooth
2、brush,thenafewitemsofclothing.Allofasudden,theyrealizethey’vemovedin.—PamelaSmock,UniversityofMichiganInstituteforSocialResearchSo,catchmeup.Whatsgoingonwithschool?Yourlovelife?IaskedmyfriendSaraatourmonthlygirlsnightin.Schoolis?ne,shesaid,glossingoverthede-tailstogettowhatshereallywantedtotalkabou
3、t:herrela-tionship.ButIminastalematewithAdam,shecon?ded.Herboyfriendofoverayearhadjustdroppedthebombthathewasntsureifhewasreadytogetmarried.Shetoldus,Hesaysheiswaitingforsomesignthatthisisright.Imtwenty-?veandheistwenty-seven,shouldntwebemovingtoward?9?9780738213163-text:5.5x8.2510/13/092:10PMPage1
4、010?ALittleBitMarriedmarriage?AndnowdoIjustwaitaroundforhimtobeready?Mytimeisvaluable.Right,inothercenturieswomengavetheirvirginity,nowtheequivalentisourtime.Theroomfellsilentaseveryonechanneledsomeversionoftheirowncur-rentorpastAdamsituation.Mygrandparentswenton?vedatesoveraten-monthperiodbeforemy
5、grandfatherproposed.Theywerehappilymarriedforforty-sevenyears.Nowadays,?vedatesisthepointwhenyouvefriendedeachotheronFacebookandareinthemidstofaseriesofcoye-mailandtext-messageexchanges.Theerainwhichmygrandparentscourtedwasde?nedbyacompressedtimeframeeverythinghappenedveryfast.Itstheoppositetoday;t
6、hecourtshipanddatingritualshavebeenelongated.Inanothernot-so-distanttime,toevensleepinthesamebedletalonelivetogetherasacouplewasconsideredanunspokenagreementtogetmarried.Buttoday,asEvan,twenty-nine,whohasbeendatinghisgirlfriendforsixyears,putsit,Youcanstartyourlifewithoutagoldbandonyour?n-ger.Marri
7、ageisnolongerthebigbangitwasforearliergener-ations.Thereisnowahugestopgapbetweendatingandmarriageitsaplacewhereyoungmenandwomenareforminglong-termrelationshipsthathavemanysimilaritiestomarriage,yetarentquit
