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1、英語搞笑話劇《孔雀東南飛》Wanderseveryfivemiles焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)劉蘭芝Lunch(Lforshort)焦母Johnny’smother(JMforshort)劉母Lunch’smother(LMforshort)太守之子Mayor’sson(MSforshort)強(qiáng)盜Burglars(ABandC)(J作被打狀跑上臺(tái),內(nèi)砸出一卷紙筒,J被打中,狼狽不堪)J:EverybodysaysthatI'mhenpecked,butinfact,I’masstrongasatiger,(小聲)whilemywifeisWuSong.(指著上
2、臺(tái)處的門大聲道)I’mnotafraidofyou!(內(nèi)砸出一臉盆,J接住當(dāng)成盾牌護(hù)著頭)Then,I’mafraidofwhom?MywifeLunchisthemostfamouswomanintheneighbor-hood.Sheisbraverthanme,smarterthanmeandstrongerthanme.AllthisIdonotcare.Ionlywanthertobetenderthanme.Butsheisnot!Havingawifelikethisisjustlikelivinginthehell(地獄)!(內(nèi)又砸出一卷紙筒,擊中J)MyG
3、od!Whocanhelpme?(下)Act1(序幕結(jié)束時(shí),JM作竊聽狀)JM(拄拐棍上):Ican!(對(duì)門內(nèi))Lunch!Lunch!Whereareyou?L(扎著圍裙,拿著鍋鏟,從門內(nèi)跳出來):I’mhere!What’supmum?JM:I‘vetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-law”.L:OK.Mymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-law,what’sup?JM:Sinceyoumar
4、riedmysonyouhavebehavedsobadly.Youhavebeensorude,sobrusque,solazy……L:But……JM:Neverinterruptme!L:Neverinterruptme!SinceImarriedyourson,thatterribleJohnny,Ihavebeenworkinghardalldaylong,cookingandwashing.Ihaveraisedtensofthousandsofpigsandducksandchickenand……JM:Butallthoseyouhavedonearenotas
5、valuableasagrandson!L(生氣地?fù)]動(dòng)著鍋鏟):Oh,youwantagrandson,don’tyou?(開始解圍裙)Goandaskyourson.I’mleaving!(扯下圍裙,扔在JM的臉上,下)Act2(LM坐在臺(tái)上打毛線,L拿著鍋鏟上)L:Mum,I’mback!LM:Youareback?Why?Whathappened?L:Iwaskickedoutbymymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother–in-law.LM(驚訝,但隨即露出幸災(zāi)樂禍的神情):See!Ihavealreadytoldyou!When
6、youinsistedonmarryingthatterribleJohnny,Itoldyouthatheisuglystupidandpoor,butyoudidnotlistentome.Lookatyourself……L:But,mum……LM:Neverinterruptme!L:Mum,I’mnotinterruptingyou.IjustwanttotellyouthatyouarealwaysrightOK?AndI’llmarrywhomeveryouwantmeto.LM(大喜):Nicegirl!Justnow,Imetthemayor’ssonint
7、hemarket.Hesaid:“IfyourdaughterHaven‘tbeenmarried,Ireallyreallywanttomarryher!”Nowyouarefreeagain,I’llgoandtellhim.(下)L(驚愕):What?Themayor’sson?Themostfamousplayboyintheneighbor-hood?(手中的鍋鏟掉在地上)WhatasillythingIhavedone(下)Act3本文轉(zhuǎn)自：(J睡眼惺忪上)J(邊走邊道):Lunch!Lunch!Whe
